Frivolous

During my Winter Break from school I took a trip down from San Jose to Long Beach to visit my family. I had a great time – skating with friends, hanging out with family members that I haven’t seen in a while, et cetera. I was staying at my uncle’s house at the time, and I believe that he may have started to feel that I doing nothing with my life and over-welcoming my stay, although I was only down there for winter break and I am still a student and employed. He asks me what was I doing while I was down the there. I told him I was skateboarding with my friends mostly. He told me that I should go back to San Jose to work, because I wasn’t really doing anything down there, making me feel like skating isn’t something I should be doing – even though my life is pretty much built around it – because grown-ups do things like go to jobs everyday even though they don’t really enjoy it. And I understand that making money sounds good to some, but I would much rather be doing what I love, isn’t that what life is about?

I was told that I need to be a man and work, and I can’t go around skateboarding all the time. “Why the hell not?” I wanted to tell him but I didn’t want any confrontation (I hate confrontation). Believe me, I understand that there’s certain things that I should do, such as make money to stay afloat and think about my future, but shouldn’t I also enjoy the present moment as well? Shouldn’t I try to enjoy myself while I am here? Because one day I am going to die, it’s a realization that I have been trying to come to grips with; death is a concept that is pretty hard to grasp, being that no one on Earth has experienced it (except those who claim they have died and came back), and those who have experienced it, well, they’re dead. And my uncle is a pretty old guy, and has plenty of reason to believe that I am not going to die soon, but honestly, you never know. I hate the idea of working day in and day out with my sole reason being to just make money, even if I don’t really enjoy it, I don’t understand the logic in that. We have to enjoy our time here, otherwise there’s really no point. There’s literally no reason for me to believe that I will be here next year, no concrete evidence that I will be here tomorrow. The cliche’ “Live everyday like it is your last” rings true, although many of us do not do it, many of us do not think about such things, many of us live life like we’re immortal. If you want to have any enjoyment in life, you have to live it as if you were going to be gone tomorrow. What do you really want to be doing with your life? There may be some time to wait, but why do that, you’re going to die one day you know.

(I feel like I may have went off on a tangent, but it’s OK.)

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